Sleep is for the weak.

I am so sorry it has been a few days since I wrote. Things have been pretty crazy. Charlie went to the pediatrician yesterday. He weighs 12lbs, 13ozs. He is gaining weight! He has a blocked tear duct. Once, again, I am bringing the kids to the doctor's, and they are more concerned about Addison who has double ear infections again. I am petrified because it's like de ja vu. This is how it happened two months ago when Charlie first got sick, and since they stopped the pulmicort nebs, Charlie is congested and coughing again. I am horrified, especially with the concern of the murmur and his upcoming echo.
I celebrated my 21st birthday yesterday. Although I was excited, I am not too excited since this is the age Charlie will be IF he gets a transplant, where he would have to go for his second transplant. (If that makes any sense to you. I can't help my nonsense. I feel like I haven't been sleeping at all.)
Charlie had his second visit with the nurse today. She said his liver isn't enlarged anymore, but it is lower than where it should be. It sounded like good news until she mentioned it being lower. His weight is well, and she couldn't hear a murmur. She said perhaps it is PPS, or peripheral pulmonary stenosis. It is a type of murmur that comes and goes like how his arrhythmia comes and goes. She doesn't feel it is too concerning, or otherwise Dr. Rhodes would have ordered an echo then and there.
I meet with Early Intervention tomorrow to start paperwork for Charlie to start. I have been trying to do substitutes for belly time by sitting him against my chest and holding his arms so he can practice head control. I also "lay" him on my chest and let him push himself up on his forearms. I cannot wait until he can start to be on his belly again and roll over finally. It's little things other moms take for granted. :)
Things have been pretty pressing as far as my relationship. It's been very tense and stressful. Going out for my birthday helped somewhat because it was nice to have some time for just us (although we were joined by our friends, Amanda and Janelle.) I have no clue how things will end up as far as our relationship. It has been insane. I speak to my fellow heart moms about it, and it's so great to have advice and to know that I am not alone no matter how much I feel it. I will be sure to update some time tomorrow. Scout's honor!