Two Weeks Post Op

Mr. Charlie Buckets and I had a nice night's sleep after his crabby time. Slept about six hours! I ended up going back to bed after feeding him and the whole drill, and I had a HORRIBLE dream that someone was trying to take Charlie from me, and I chased her down and told her to give me my son back so she tossed him to me. I went back home to Tim and cried and told him all about it, and he comforted me. Somehow, she ended up getting Charlie from daycare or something and killed both herself and him. It was a terrifying dream. I am crying just writing it. I think I am still afraid of losing Charlie although he is doing very well. The fact that I was so close to losing my child has been stuck in my head and heart, and I can't help but fear that I may lose him at any moment. It's such an awful feeling to constantly have hanging over your head, weighing on your every thought.

He much prefers to suck on his hand than a binky.
Rarely, he will take a bink.

The good part is we should be going home Thursday, given that everything goes well the next few days. His echo and broviac removal are scheduled for Wednesday morning. As soon as we get home, I am going to have to set something up for counseling.
Today is a very boring day. There is no change in meds or anything. Just a quiet day filled with sleep, eating, and pooping. And the same for Charlie :) (Just kidding!)
While I went to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast, his nurse said that Charles coughed up some phlegm. She, then, gave him  his meds (a little too much too fast!) and he vomited all over the floor. USUALLY, they give him his meds BEFORE his bottle. lol And they thought me to give a little on the inside of the cheek at a time. He is sleeping right now. She wanted me to feed him since he threw up everything. I suggested I let him rest, and then when he wakes up, I can feed him again. lol
I will update if there is is any news.

His stitches were removed the other day. Looking A LOT better!

It seems like when all is well, a fever HAS to pop up. Poor baby has ANOTHER fever. He is on antibiotics so I don't understand the possibility of an infection. He is very congested, but when they suction him, they get nothing out. Today was supposed to be boring, but I have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get people on the phone from Pace and DTA to figure out what is going on with Addison's daycare voucher. Meanwhile, I am meeting with the neurodevelopmental group here and also the "arrhythmia team". (They are lowering his amiodarone, and we are being referred to Early Intervention just because he is going to be a little delayed with rolling over and whatnot.) I love that DTA has yet to call me back after I called literally 15 times. Pace called me, and the woman had suuuch an attitude. She said that she can't talk to the social worker up here. She needs a referral from DTA. I explained my DTA worker is on vacation, and today is Addison's last day on the voucher. She told me too bad. Call the supervisor. Well, needless to say, he isn't picking up. Gosh, today turned out to be a poopy day. lol

Well, we got Addison's daycare voucher sorted out until the end of May. Thank goodness. I am in such an awful moos. I feel so alone up here right now. These last few days are going to drag, I'm sure. (If we even go home Thursday since he now has another fever.) He is sleeping pretty well right now, and the night nurse and I decided it was best not to wake him since last night he was very, very crabby when we woke him up. If he doesn't start waking up in a half hour or so, we will have to wake him up though because it's been a while since he ate last. I am afraid to go to sleep tonight because of the dream I had last night. The doctor prescribed me Ambien, but I don't want to take it in fear that I may not wake up with the baby. I feel like I am in a lose-lose situation. I am so ready to go home. Maybe some of the stress will dissolve when I go home and shower in my own house, feel comfortable, sleep in my own bed next to Tim, and be with both of my kids. There isn't much to update as far as Charles. I will try to update tomorrow if there is any news.

Heard Charlie laugh for the first time today. :D It was so friggin' adorable. He is doing very well tonight. No fever. Peeing well. Drinking well. Blood pressure is normal as well as heart rate and everything else. Let's pray his fever STAYS AWAY! We need a healthy Charles so we can move forward.
I have quite the bit of calling around and whatnot to do tomorrow. I gotta call Pace to make sure they received the referral for Addison's voucher. I have to call the Unitarian Memorial Church to see if they have April 29th available. Tim decided he wanted to get married in a church, and since I consider myself Unitarian, that is the obvious choice. I was also going to get a date for Charlie's baptism. I planned on getting it done in New Bedford last month, but then he got sick. Charlie is falling asleep again so I might as well get ready for bed myself. I think I will try to sleep without the Ambien tonight. If worse comes to worse, I will try it tomorrow night. Update tomorrow. Night, y'all.