Home, home again...

Well, I didn't update yesterday because we were discharged from the hospital, and I just wanted to spend the day with my family. We visited Tim's father and colored eggs there. It was quite strange - the feeling I had when leaving Boston. I was actually pretty sad. I think I got used to being able to look at a monitor and know that Charlie is all right. I liked having nurses help me when I had a question. To know that I am solely responsible for his meds and whatnot, it's really frightening. Everything about this is terrifying, but I am trying very hard to stay cool and calm and collected.
Easter was pretty sweet. We visited Tim's mother's house. My father, his girlfriend, and my little brother came to visit us here as well as my cousin and her daughter. (Her daughter is two weeks younger than Charles.) My father bought me a laptop for my birthday which was really thoughtful of him. Not because it's a laptop and an amazing gift, but because I know he bought it so I can stay in touch with my heart moms and have support throughout this all. He truly understands that I need other moms who have been through this to talk to, and it just makes me even more thankful for my father.
Charles slept very well last night. It was his first night home and his first night in his co-sleeper. He was so comfortable, he slept from 10:30pm to about 7:30am. I, on the other hand, only slept a few hours because Addison's allergies are awful, and the post nasal drip is making her cough all the time. I don't expect to sleep well for quite some time.
I feel pretty lousy. I already screwed up Charlie's meds last night. I forgot to give him a dose of aldactone. It made me want to cry because I feel so incompetent. He has so many medications due at various times of the day, and they are so vital to his health that I feel so overwhelmed. I don't want to screw things up. I am sure I will figure out a system. I, honestly, can't wait until he is off the methadone. I won't feel as nervous, but they are also going to be adding coreg soon. Yay. Another med. -___-
Charles had a tub this morning. It was weird seeing him without tubes, lines, etc. Just incision marks where the tubes and lines were and, of course, his incision from the surgery. I could see his ribs because my little man is so scrawny. I need to get him to gain more weight! I bought him a new bottle. (The nurse suggested a wider nipple so he can get a better suck. He has always had a pretty lousy suck though, even when I was breastfeeding.) She thought it would help him to not work as hard to eat. He did pretty well with it today. (I only used it once so far.) If he does well with it, I will have to pick him up some more of them. They are the wide Playtex Ventaire kind.
Well, I will updated tomorrow unless tonight brings any news. :)